I have no idea if I plan to start blogging again, but suddenly I have the urge to share some of my life. So...I'll just throw this out there.
I feel like I am at a bit of a turning point in my life. Lately, especially since having Olive back in May, I've been feeling very unsettled. I can't explain it very well. Everytime I try to talk about it I know that I'm not really saying the right things so that it makes sense to other people. I've defintely been dealing with some postpartum depression and/or anxiety as well as just feeling very overwhelmed by life. The everyday things I do, the fact that I have almost nothing to wear because nothing fits, managing two kids as well as all of the stuff taking up too much space in our house, and a whole bunch of other things have been rattling around in my head and making me feel grumpy and edgy and like I'm not enjoying life the way I would like to be. Basically I've just been feeling like a mess and itching for a major change. I just didn't know where to start...at all.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not miserable everyday or anything like that. I know how lucky I am and I see how fantastic my life is. I hate that I feel like I need to put that disclaimer but it's the internet so I'm not sure what tone you're using when you read this in your head...or out loud...no judgement.
The reason I feel like I want to share all of this is because I think I have found something that is going to be the big change I need and I am interested to see how it plays out. It is going to be an interesting process and I would really like to document it for myself. In the past, blogging has been the only way I've been able to stick to any sort of journal so we'll see if I'm into it again.
I think that I will eventually want to talk about why I stopped blogging and my thoughts on the internet in general but for now I am just excited to start my new journey. Now that I've made this all sound very dramatic I guess I should just share what I've been thinking about nonstop for the last few days. Minimalism.
PS. Man, I'm sitting here having a terribly hard time hitting publish. I haven't even looked to make sure my blog is set up properly so it probably looks totally wonky. Whatever, here we go!
hey! long time no read! I'm a long time reader (though I can't remember if I ever went as far as too speak up in a comment), but I've been struggling with the to blog or not to blog predicament as well. I'm glad to read you're alive and busy and have enjoyed your writing in the past and hope you find your groove again. <3ReplyDelete
Hi Kat! It's a tough one for sure. I go back and forth all the time about blogging. Thank you so much for your kind words. If I do start I want it to be really for myself and I want it to be really honest. Somrtimes that can make me uncomfortable but in a way that could help me grow as a person. I think, who knows!Delete
As a recent Mom of 2, I can totally relate to the uneasy and overwhelming feeling! Our son is 2.5 and our daughter is 4 months, and things are just now starting to feel more in balance for me. Wishing you all the calm and energy you need to live the life you desire! (Also, glad to see you back even if it is only briefly.)ReplyDelete
It's intense! I am definitely not as good at multitasking as I need to be to handle two kids exactly the way I would like to. We just need to be kind to ourselves (and our kids) and I think we will be fine!Delete
Happy to see a new post!ReplyDelete
Think you might relate to this post about motherhood, http://velamag.com/mother-writer-monster-maid/
Thanks Holly. I will check that link out for sure! I'm on the iPad and it doesn't want to let me select it.Delete
hey! glad to see you back, and interested to see how the minimalism thing goes for you. I read both posts, but I'll put all my thoughts into this one comment. I feel the same way about a lot of the stuff i have. I have gotten very good at not bringing things home, but bad at getting rid of stuff that is here. when you were talking about your Australia trash I was like I GET IT!!! because I JUST got ride of a huge box of backstreet boys magazine clippings I've been holding on to since I was twelve. why is it so hard to throw that crap AWAY! haha. Good luck in your journey, and I hope you'll stick to sharing it here.ReplyDelete
Thank you Rae! Man, it's so much harder than it should be. I haven't tackled any old memory inducing stuff yet! I th no I might need to make a video of me doing that. I bet it would be funny. im glad you get it! I really do want to share more.Delete
I commented on your minimalism post, but thought I should add here that on the same evening that I watched the Minimalism documentary, I also watched another one on Netflix called Happy. It explores what really makes people happy, and how it's rarely what we'd expect. Your restlessness and uncertainty is familiar to me right now, and for myself I think I am searching for some meaning. I was drawn to both of those documentaries, hoping for answers, leads, ideas -- I too, am looking for change, but I don't yet know what it might look like. Reading and watching films can be such a great way to get the process underway and give ourselves permission to ponder different paths.ReplyDelete
Totally!! Documentaries and books are so helpful to me. I'm really excited right now and I think this is a good path for me to try. I hope you figure out what might help you.Delete
Am just happy you are sharing these thoughts on your blog... I can't heal postpartum, but I can send you hugs, love and support from the other side of the ocean and hoping you'll find your own answer to this messy time. Take care (and HNY BTW :-)) Love from SwitzerlandReplyDelete
Keep writing, I whant to read you!!ReplyDelete
I'm so very glad to read this post. I've missed your blog so much, and even if your posting is somewhat sporadic I will still be so interested to see what you've got in store. Wishing you all the best for 2017!ReplyDelete